Are we really ‘just too nice?’

Photo Credit: Stock Xchng

A friend of mine recently expressed her frustration over people describing themselves as ‘just too nice’ to say ‘no.’ It got me thinking – how often do we disguise our flaws as ‘Just too much of a good thing?’

We live in what I once heard Mark Sayers describe as an ‘Instagram Society.’ We take snapshots of the best parts of our lives, pretty them up with a filter, and present them to the world.

It’s not surprising that we do it with our speech. ‘I’m just too nice,’ can be a cover for ‘I struggle to say ‘no’ and put too much weight on what people think of me.’

‘I’m just too honest’ can be a sugar-coated way of saying ‘I haven’t yet learned to have self-control over what I say.’

Is it perhaps time to get real with ourselves? Is it time to take off the Instagram-like filter, admit that we all have faults and seek change, rather than a cover-up?

4 comments on “Are we really ‘just too nice?’

  1. Emi says:

    Or perhaps its the other way around…maybe we know our faults, deep down, and try to make our lives look as pretty as possible on the outside to convince ourselves we’re still decent people, or cover up our weaknesses. Being aware of your faults and trying to improve is a good thing, but no-one wants to put their faults on a billboard and show them to the world.

    • sarsrose says:

      I agree Emi, and I’m not saying we should be putting our faults on a billboard. Sometimes i think we need to get more real with ourselves (though you’re right, many people are already very self-reflective) but it’s a shame that we feel we can’t be real with others; that for some reason we have to cover up, when with a bit of honesty and humility we would discover that we’re all in the same boat and we all need God’s help to change.

  2. Diane says:

    I think there are two unhelpful extremes that many of us fall into: The first one being that we restate our faults, putting a ‘too good’ spin on them as sarsrose has noted. The second is when we admit we can see our faults stating them as a kind of excuse for our behaviour. It is however encouraging for those around us to see real evidence that we are trying to improve in these areas of weakness of which we are aware. And when that is happening our honesty about our failings is a request for the same kind of patience we are willing to offer others when they mess up. Eventually we all discover though that true core-of-our-being change is supernatural and we can’t expect to make real progress just relying on our own resources. In fact the real growth starts when we come face to face with the reality that God loves us, that His Son Jesus is willing to take responsibility for all our faults and to help us to become the best we can be.

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