Chivalry Didn’t Die at the Hand of a Man

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt has long been said that chivalry is dead and I wonder, if this is true, who killed it?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not because men in every city decided that they’d be happier just being jerks. Nope, the first stabs in chivalry’s back came from women who decided they’d be happier being treated like men.

Before I get an onslaught of anger over issues of equality and gender stereotypes, let me say this.: I’m all for equality, but I’m also all for difference. In centuries gone by, chivalry was a man’s way of respecting and honouring this distinction. It was not about his right to exert power; it was about her privilege of receiving service.

For centuries men and women have existed in a harmonious dance of give and take, each serving each other, until (dare I say) the women decided they wanted to do everything themselves. Goodness knows why they’ve felt a sudden need to open their own doors (no-one ever doubted you were capable of it) but somehow it seemed necessary as they hurtled past equality towards power and dominance, leaving emasculated men in their wake.

For the record, I don’t think chivalry is dead (though it is languishing under the pressure of decades of slow strangulation) and I commend the men who uphold it, but I would say this to the women who are lamenting its rarity: Before you cry in disgust that chivalry is dead, make sure you’re acting like a lady.

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8 comments on “Chivalry Didn’t Die at the Hand of a Man

  1. Mark Myers says:

    Good post. The lines have become so blurred. In a business situation, I recently had a woman push my hand off the door as I tried to open it for her. I didn’t think that was a big deal, it’s how momma taught me. And by the way, I hold doors for men too and I’ve never offended one of them.

  2. As for me (as a man), sometimes I find it easier with a female friend just to treat her like another guy, and that’s the lazy nature in me. However, if I really like her, that’s when I will seek some reserve energy and open a door and lead the way. But you know it is so much easier when she is willing to be a lady.

    • sarsrose says:

      I think that’s a really good point Stephen. Some guys can get a bit lazy with it which is not a good thing, but if a woman is really acting like a lady, it can often inspire the desire to be chivalrous in a guy. I can imagine it’s not very motivating to be chivalrous if it’s not going to be appreciated, or even scorned!

  3. I agree! Women need to decide…if they want to be treated exactly as equals than you lose the right to complain about not being treated like a lady! Great post

  4. journeyofjoy says:

    love your argument; especially your closing!

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