Things I’ve learned from Killing Consumerism #9 – I bought something, but I can totally justify it

2015-07-06 21.34.33It’s time to confess.

I vowed to be honest at the beginning of the year about anything I did buy this year, so here’s the rundown.

I bought a book. I bought it online while at work. I got it sent to work. It’s to check out to possibly have on the curriculum at work. I’ll claim it on tax. I think that’s ok.

I bought a pot. It is a black flowerpot that I was intending to plant my coriander in. It cost 74c. It’s too big anyway and I’d completely forgot I wasn’t supposed to buy it until I already had. I think I’ll take it back.

I bought a No Junk Mail sign. It cost me $3.95 from Bunnings. I knew it was stretching the rules, but you know what? It’s worth it. Now when I drive past my mailbox in the mornings and see all the junk spilling out of everyone else’s slot, mine is clear. No longer will I be assailed by the tirade of consumeristic, promotional rubbish. No longer will those mountains of paper be wasted on me.

I used to enjoy flicking through the junk mail, but no longer. It’s taken me 6 months of buying nothing to finally make the move, and I had to break the rules to do it, but I’m not looking back.

Chivalry Didn’t Die at the Hand of a Man

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt has long been said that chivalry is dead and I wonder, if this is true, who killed it?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not because men in every city decided that they’d be happier just being jerks. Nope, the first stabs in chivalry’s back came from women who decided they’d be happier being treated like men.

Before I get an onslaught of anger over issues of equality and gender stereotypes, let me say this.: I’m all for equality, but I’m also all for difference. In centuries gone by, chivalry was a man’s way of respecting and honouring this distinction. It was not about his right to exert power; it was about her privilege of receiving service.

For centuries men and women have existed in a harmonious dance of give and take, each serving each other, until (dare I say) the women decided they wanted to do everything themselves. Goodness knows why they’ve felt a sudden need to open their own doors (no-one ever doubted you were capable of it) but somehow it seemed necessary as they hurtled past equality towards power and dominance, leaving emasculated men in their wake.

For the record, I don’t think chivalry is dead (though it is languishing under the pressure of decades of slow strangulation) and I commend the men who uphold it, but I would say this to the women who are lamenting its rarity: Before you cry in disgust that chivalry is dead, make sure you’re acting like a lady.

5 Things You Should Never Do At A Wedding

952993_71476958I’ve attended a lot of weddings. And you know those things that are supposed to be common sense, but aren’t? Well let’s just say, I’ve observed a lot of them.

1. Don’t be late. Punctuality is polite anywhere, but at a wedding it’s essential. If the invitation says the wedding starts at 1pm, that means you must be seated and ready for the bride to arrive at 1pm. If you are late, and the bride is already there, don’t stop to say hello. Hurry into the venue and hope she didn’t see you!

2. Do not take photos of the bride before the groom has seen her. If you are just a guest at the wedding, don’t sneak out the back to get a quick picture of the bride before she enters. There’s a photographer for that, and you sneaking a peek before she arrives at the top of the aisle is beyond rude.

3. Don’t sit at the front if you’re not family or very close. There is a seating hierarchy at weddings. Close people at the front, acquaintances at the back. If in doubt, sit further back.

4. Don’t wear a white dress. It’s the bride’s day for white, and this is a day when rocking up in the same outfit, or even colour, is not ok.

5. If you’re invited to the reception, do not come without a present. They are likely paying upwards of $80 to have you there. Not bringing a gift is very disrespectful.